hard choices

its hard to choose sometimes
to take the chance
by being true to myself
chance that a friendship will end

or act another way just to keep the status quo
to be able to even see the person

i made a hard choice
i dont think my friend even understands
and i know i have to be prepared to loose them entirely
i like myself better
i like myself rather than dont


i remember the 4 days of agony before i ended it with "the boy"
the pain of the choice
the clarity of the only answer
the sadness of choosing the end

and even today
he wont speak or acknowledge me
i understand
and have to accept it
have peace