lovely experience

that is reading this mans site
tyler knott

it dont mean a thing if you aint got that swing

hey its hot here on the west coast
very hot
i have been thinking about my friends in port alberni
where it is even hotter
hope they are in a creek somewhere?

i am happy in my cave where its always cool... the cats seem ok

if you liked that one...

fabric collage

have been working on these lately
more sitting and stitching
my favorite thing

new banner

for emily

ice tea

lately i have been making green tea with mint ice tea
i have a mix i made myself of good quality green tea and dried mint
and make a couple of pots while i do the dishes usually
mix in some honey
and chill in the refrigerator
very yummy and good for you too
serve it with lots of ice
well if you like lots of ice and i do

free stuff

i love those boxes of free stuff on the boulevard

couple of days ago i found this baby ballet slipper
and made into a pin cushion
it worked well dont you think?

man on the moon

i havnt had internet for a week or so
and what i missed most was writing
i would think of something and want to blog about it

i guess blogging really works for me...as the thought of writing by hand or doing up a word document just didnt happen.

so late at night when i am a most vulnerable place emotionally and i think about the past or the future or a moment
i am drawn to the keyboard

i think last monday was the 40th anniversary of the first moon landing
i was 17 and out the door that evening to my friends at the local hippie house
maybe do alot of "grokking"

my fathers voice ...english
somewhat authoritarian
ordering me back in to watch the moon walk

now i was opposed politically to the whole space exploration thing...
remember viet nam?
and the astronauts were all military and
f-ing nixon was the president at the time

but i came in and watched the TV
me perched on the edge of the sofa
so i could make my exit asap

so here we are 40 years later
me having become the news junky

and the clips from television at the time
and the names of the men involved
and the memory of that summer evening
bring tears...
missing my father and his love of history in the making
that has become a huge love of mine.

and the loss of more naive times
and being 17 years old on a lovely july evening

georgia o keefe from the new CD Soul Walk by Emily Braden

05 GEORGIA O’KEEFE 6:03
/// EMILY BRADEN/MISHA PIATIGORSKY

Misha Piatigorsky–piano
Rudy Royston–drums
Boris Koslov–acoustic bass
Carmel Raz String Quartet

you, you’re gonna miss me
once i’m gone
once i find my way around
your broke down charm
you, you’re gonna wish you’d
held on tighter
once i find myself in someone
else’s arms

like georgia o’keefe painting flowers in the backseat
under the new mexican sun
you can imagine me that way

here it’s dry but this desert is mine
i see blue skies through the hole
of a sun-bleached pelvic bone

you, you’re gonna miss me
once i’m gone
once i find my way around
your broke down charm
you, you’re gonna wish you’d
held on tighter
once i find myself in someone
else’s arms

like hundreds of lovers
with bricks in their pockets
headed straight for the ocean floor
i will not go down that way

but if some strange face lures me from the shore
i’ll be the lark that sings
around the bend
a rebel on the river in
the ship of charon

you, you’re gonna miss me
once i’m gone
once i find my way around
your broke down charm
you, you’re gonna wish you’d
held on tighter
once i find myself in someone
else’s arms

like georgia o’keefe painting flowers in the backseat
under the new mexican sun
you can imagine me that way

here it’s dry but this desert is mine
i see blue skies through the hole
of a sun-bleached pelvic bone

so many thanks to jennifer

I must learn to love the fool in me---- the one who feels too much, talks too much. takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom i also harbour and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool.
Theodore I Rubin

on a postcard from Jennifer...i will carry this in my purse as it will be my new personal creed.

with love

i know you might not get this for a bit
after seeing you today i slept without moving for ages
was nice

i had a realization about us tho
that
we likely arent meant to be... be anything
it isnt that you dont make me crazy
i think you are handsome and beautiful and in a way i love you
but in another way
its all drama

and i feel ill with guilt
and about me accepting 2nd place
about A
and about your feelings too

and we are very different
very very
i believe in the magic of the small
and you are so about the big

i do very much still want to do the art piece of you
and hope we can shoot next weekend
and possibly again in the fall

the bracelet is so you and i am happy to have given it to you
happy its on your arm

i really fell for you ...shows me i still can feel strongly and i like that
and if you need a friend i am here

g

a dream

last night talking to a friend
she is lost and confused ...temporarily
mostly because she has so much open to her i laugh
so many opportunities

and we chatted about writing about making a list of what would make her PERFECT life
any thing she wants anything at all
just list it

in the night i woke and remembered a waking dream i had about a year ago
a simple dream
yet gave me such lightness and hope

i was sitting in the ditch on the side of the road waiting for a bus
out side of the small town on the lower west coast of vancouver island
my basket full of twigs and wild roses
orange honeysuckle

tho i am on the side of the one main road it is quiet and i smell ocean
2 hawks are circling overhead

i saw a small cottage
me and "him" 2 chairs outside
the garden herbs vegetables
and the feeling i had of home
of belonging
beyond what i feel usually

i knew there was much quiet love
and a big bed with cotton sheets
flowers
and cats
maybe a goat

and me?
accepting my aging with such grace
acceptance and joy

them again

they usually smell like beer
and have beautiful eyes
and there is something obvious and earthy about their sexuality

they are working men and have jobs
what ever they do they are proud of

they can easily be smokers

articulate and intelligent
tho not likely educated in the formal way

they arent tall
have good shoulders
small hips and slim shapely legs
and again
beautiful eyes

did i mention the beer?
so there are 2 things that will come first
beer and work
or work and beer
and tho they are often verbal about their sexual desire for me
well that is what it ...verbal

they have had alot of wives and girlfriends who they still love in a way
and
seems that the girlfriends may still love them

there is something beautiful and enticing about them

and i crave their love like there is a hole in me that only they can fill

and when it ends with one of them
i swear no
no
i am done with them now

i knew he had all the same charge as the others
and that it would be another heartbreak

yet

no way i could stay away
and when we traded sides in bed so he could touch me in the night

he said
it is because he is left handed

OH NO
that is the other thing
they are often left handed

and today i am smothering in sadness
and having lost myself again

You are cold, but you expect kindness.
What you do comes back in the same form.
God is compassionate, but if you plant barley,
don't expect to harvest wheat.

- Rumi

jazzfest