random thoughts

i didnt know what my blog would be .. i mean what would be the focus..... cause i cook and sew and do art and think and all that
any of that could be somewhat interesting to those of us who like reading blogs

so, as ever it seems to be evolving into thoughts on my relationships with men and love and sex

so
i usually have a few lovers and really enjoy having that kind of life
and
relationships dont seem to go easily (for me or anyone it seems)
sometimes i think i have done enough of that
having been married more than once and having grown children

and i am in my late 50's and cant seem to find love...but what is worse my beautiful young friends dont either

i go back and forth between the fun of a few men
and my desires for love and deeper attachment

so what am i trying to say here?
i dunno

except i have been thinking about how women owning their own sexuality
and in doing that ... acting that out in a natural and open way
along with balancing their desires for emotional connection
how that works for them (and me)

in the internet dating world men are having an easier time than ever "getting laid" and are a little spoiled (maybe)
and who could blame them for enjoying the possibilities
hence not so fast to attach to a particular woman

and men my age are tired and jaded
very wary,hurt from their divorces, and dont bounce back as easily to bounce back as women
yet they too can go thru a series of different women very easily

it seems younger men are easy for us old girls
they are more available and intrigued by our experiences
of course
as well as not as likely to form a deeper relationship with us

all that being said obviously i am jaded myself
add my own issues to this mix??

not hopeful sounding am i?
i smile
i have alot of love to give

i just give it differently
to different people in different ways...

so far i smile