to stand alone

you see i never considered that i would be on your list of maybe's
(as is my style)
and when you asked how my word looked beside your word
(each our own wants)
i didnt take it seriously
(saw it as part of your dance only)
i wanted just to stand alone
(a separate list of one)
so when time would pass, and i would think of you
(without regrets)
it would be in only that context
( standing alone)
the one of you and i and our moments in time

when you told me i was on that list after all
(that fucking list)
i couldnt be pleased
(as any club that would have me was one i wouldnt want to join)
of course at the same moment the list was one of hasbeens
(you idiot i thought)
i reminded him that wasnt me
( i was the one that stood alone)
he responded of course
(liking my stance i smile)

of course the curse was
(or quickly turned out to be)
that once i knew that i was on that list
(that fucking list)
i became mundane
(you know just another woman on another list)
to myself and then i saw myself that way
(and informed only by his list)


all this talk of cookies and power by withholding
(as that is the power of the receptive they say)
all makes sense
(i suppose)
yet i still like to think of those times with him when i stood alone
(and there was no one else like me)